Dedicated to all the women who partnered this transition from a Men to a Dads ! Ok, the men too :)
To do or not to do !
The
fundamental dilemma for most couples in a male dominated society starts post the
honeymoon phase in a marriage (3< x >36 months) ie, do we ? do we ? we
do... :0 . This is a deja vu situation similar to the day they considered
marriage. For the ones who decided to give it shot in the first three
months, well you guys did wasted some good time together and surely did not contribute to the coffers of Durex. The ones who
overshot this my blog post is worth a read. This is merely a thought process
and i am open for some fair bit of criticism. However the crux of
matter is relevant.
Men
consider committing to an offspring normally after they experience stable
career trajectories and feel mature enough to understand the responsibilities
associated with the kid. Well the truth more often than not is otherwise and
hence this blog post! About the women ... i think most of them think about the
babies from the day they agree to Ken being Barbies boyfriend. Thinking of which
leads me to wonder that historically women settle down with a man based on his
ability to protect and nurture "her" offspring's The ones
who have chosen to consider brawn alone end up like Demi Moore.
Do Men
really settle down ? When does the joy of the next high paying higher risk job
seem less tempting ? When do they stop ogling at
the photo-shopped and botoxed women on TV with ever
increasing silicone's ! Well my rough guess would be around the time
they touch 50 ie, when they realize the misplaced priority on wealth alone
and would lie to utilize their last few year of performance in their final
years of productivity. Micheal Douglas would be an appropriate example. Closer
home would be the Dabang fool. They also form the right partner for females, considering my historic statement. ( Is this the reason why most girls date their seniors in school or the term Sugar daddy is not so disrespectful anymore ?)
The
rest try their luck somewhere in between, mostly dictated by the biological limit of the female partner. With education and
income levels increasing, logically the decision should be sooner than later.
However the trend indicates otherwise. A sense of insecurity gets associated
with couples postponing this decision. This insecurity is normally not about the
greed for wealth or comfort, it might be on the well being of relationship itself.
This may not be applicable to all, but i believe it might cover a large portion
including the educated ones reading this blog.
Having
a offspring is not a simple process like the bee and the flower story. The sperm count and the fertility issues do regulate the process to an extent unimaginable to most single adults. The doc reasons stress, alcoholism, Pollution in males and the gyneac would give more than a dozen reasons. However from experience the primary reason most docs agree in private is that "they did not try when they should have". The mushrooming of fertility clinics and fertility centers are a direct result of the point above. Considering that breast feeding is proven protection against breast cancer, the soon to be No.1 killer worldwide; Breastfeeding at the right age, it seems more beneficial. Ok the women who did not know this, consult your gyneac and for men please note that cancer still is mostly incurable and this one is known to strike as early as 35 !
The amount of issues that the would be parents face in the 9 months of pregnancy is more that they bargained for. Not every foetus sees the light of the day and the number of miscarriages seem ever increasing. Adding the amount of medically assisted abortions due to prediction of a unhealthy baby, i believe we look at a very low success rate for the first trials.
Rapid rise in careers normally point to excess of greed and not necessarily happiness in personal life. The joy of having a kid is next to none. Insecurity in relationship stems from wrong choice of partners. I believe most mistakes can be mended and this one is a rather simpler one. Hence my advice is a repetition of what pappu's grandfather stated in the 50's "Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj karo so ab kar". I believe even the Vatican supports me on this one :)
Leaving this blog unfinished to incorporate your comments !
-
Doc Bee
